Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal – Christopher Moore

“We’ve got it: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness; blessed are the poor in spirit, the pure in heart, the whiners, the meek, the – “

“Wait, what are we giving the meek?”

“Let’s see, uh here: Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say, ‘attaboy.””

“A little weak.”


“Let’s let the meek inherit the earth.”

“Can’t you give the earth to the whiners?”

“Well then, cut the whiners and give the earth to the meek.”

“Okay. Earth to the meek. Here we go. Blessed are the peacemakers, the mourners, and that’s it…We need one more. How about the dumbfucks?”

“No, Josh, not the dumbfucks. you’ve done enough for the dumbfucks.”

“Blessed are the dumbfucks for they, uh – I don’t know – they shall never be disappointed.”

I decided to buy and read this book because it is Christmas after all (despite my generally dislike of it) and what’s Christmas without a little Jesus? (Or as this book labels him, Joshua).   I feel like I would have enjoyed reading the Bible if it was more like this – hilarious and ridiculous.  I had previously read Christopher Moore’s The Stupidest Angel, which still stands as the most ridiculous book I’ve ever read, complete with zombies making trips to Ikea and people murdering mall Santas.  I was expecting the same from this one, but it is actually well researched, and even poignant at times.  I heartily enjoyed this Biblical satire, as well as Moore’s writing style and general sense of humour.  Needless to say I LOL’d at least once every five pages, and now my parents think I’m even more of a blasphemer than before.

I’ve been extremely busy with work and there’s no way in hell I will catch up to anyone, but now that I have some time off for Christmas I may actually breach my stack! Exciting!

Current Total: 5.


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